Making a relationship last is usually the goal of couples who decide to enter into a relationship with one another. Nobody wants to be in a series of short relationships. Eventually, you’ll start to wonder why your relationships aren’t lasting and it might even have an effect on your self esteem. Here’s what you need to know to make your relationship last:
Don’t Rush Into Making Things ‘Official’
You meet somebody, you get a rush of hormones, and it feels like you’re in love. You want to shout it from the rooftops and make things official as quickly as possible. But just wait a minute. You need to make sure that you and this other person are really compatible before you make it official. Eventually, those hormones will die off, and you might be left wondering why you’re with this person. Take your time to really get to know one another and your relationship will stand a much better chance of standing the test of time. This is why so many people who meet ‘the love of their lives’ on holiday end up disappointed later on down the line. It’s easy to feel like you’re in love when you’ve got no worries and you’re having a great time in a foreign country. However, things can quickly change when you return home. This is why you should wait until you really know each other before looking into spouse visa requirements.
Know What’s Important To You
Know what’s important to you in a relationship. For a relationship to last, you should have a similar view for the future, similar values, and similar goals. You don’t have to be exactly the same, but you should agree on the important stuff. For example, if one wants marriage and one doesn’t, this will cause problems later on down the road. Don’t just expect the other person to change their minds!
Don’t Try To Control Your Partner
Everybody should love with an open palm. You should never try to control your partner by telling them what they can and can’t do, who they can be with, what they can wear, etc. This is more of a problem with you than with them. If you feel the need to do this, you likely have trust or self esteem issues that you need to work on. Things like this will always cause rifts and arguments in your relationship.
Make Sure You Spend Time Apart
Spending time apart is healthy and makes the time you spend together even more special. However, don’t just spend time away from your partner wishing you were with them. Develop your own hobbies and interests. Get out there and do your own thing. You should both have rich, full lives that don’t necessarily revolve around the other person.
Spend Quality Time With One Another
Quality time with one another is important. Sitting on your phones together can’t really be called quality time. Make sure you talk, look into one another’s eyes, and really take an interest in your partner. How has their day been? How are they feeling?
Know How To Communicate
Knowing how to communicate is key to making a relationship last. Whenever a relationship breaks down, it’s usually down to a lack of communication. It’s not really your fault if you’ve been doing it wrong all this time – you’re likely doing what you were taught as a child. You should never be passive aggressive with your partner, or try to get ‘one up’ on them. You shouldn’t keep score either. If you disagree, you should always aim to come to a solution that suits you both, rather than ‘win’ the argument. You should also talk about how you feel more, rather than attacking your partner with language like ‘you always…’. You can find plenty more information on this kind of thing online.
Work On Keeping The Spark Alive
As your relationship progresses, eventually, you’ll have mature love. This kind of love isn’t about hormones and things like that, but rather commitment to one another and consciously choosing one another because you still want to be together. It’s also important you work on keeping the spark alive. If you let kissing and cuddling die out, for example, it’ll be harder to start doing it again later on. Do what you can to keep things special and keep that spark alive.
Watch The Things You Say Carefully
The things you say can have a bigger impact than you realize. You should never swear at your partner or call them names. Even if you think it’s an innocent joke, you should always have respect for your partner. You can easily fall into bad habits if you’re not watching what you say.
Know Why You’re Choosing Your Partner
Make sure you know why you’re choosing your partner. Focusing on the good things about them rather than their faults is a surefire way to have a happy relationship. Nobody is perfect, and the things you focus on can amplify. That means whether you’re focusing on good or bad, you’ll get more of the same. Don’t be afraid to notice all of the great things about them.
Learn Each Other’s Love Language
This is a concept that’s becoming more and more popular, and has saved many relationships. We all have a different love language, usually learned when we were children. This can be acts of service, words of affirmation, or a handful of other languages. By learning one another’s love language, you can keep the love alive and make sure you and your partner are satisfied.
Work On Your Own Insecurities And Issues
If you want your relationship to last, you both need to be happy, whole people alone. This means working on your own insecurities and issues. If you get jealous, this is usually something to do with you, rather than your partner. If you feel bad about yourself, again this is you, and not your partner. By becoming more self aware you can work on your own insecurities and issues and have an amazing relationship.